


Aquarius

by ASR84



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, College Student Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, Janitor Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), M/M, References to Depression, Smut, Student Erwin Smith, Switch Erwin, Switch Levi, eruri - Freeform, references to death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28435461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASR84/pseuds/ASR84
Summary: Erwin learned not to need anyone ever since his father died... until he met Levi, a part-time janitor at Maria Aquarius. Levi awakened a part of him he had long put to sleep. Perhaps, with time, Erwin could unlearn a few things.
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith, Moblit Berner & Hange Zoë, Nanaba & Mike Zacharias
Comments: 18
Kudos: 29





	1. Encounter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KatrinaRice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrinaRice/gifts).



> For Kat. Happy belated birthday!! This was meant to be "short" but I've yet to master the art of "not getting distracted" so here's an ERURI fic that would span "a few" more chapters than "planned"- Enjoy!
> 
> (Well actually nahhh- I planned for it to be "long". I just have "a thing" for double quotation marks. And parenthesis. And ellipses...)

For the past three months, Erwin Smith wandered wherever his feet would take him- the bar, the gym, those abandoned houses near the post office- not really heading anywhere with purpose. He avoided, however, places with large bodies of water, like the lake and the beach, because they reminded him too much of someone.

It came as no surprise to Erwin, when she asked to meet him one night at their favourite seafood restaurant, to break to him why they should break up; it had been a long time coming. She only dated him because he asked her to, and Erwin did not ask from having special feelings for her. Rather, he asked to keep busybodies off his back about finding a romantic partner. A man of his calibre should not have trouble with such things, they said, so they kept pestering him to be in a relationship because it was ridiculous for someone like Erwin to be single. Erwin preferred not to argue with such idiots, but that was not to say he did not want to shut them up. Exhausted, he asked Marie to be his girlfriend. Marie, who knew from the get-go what she really was to him, harboured no bitter feelings towards Erwin- only pity- when they both realized a little later that being together did nothing to stop busybodies from being what they were; they then started asking when the two would tie the knot.

But neither Erwin nor Marie wanted to marry each other.

So when she called him, her tone nowhere near as animated as usual, to have one final dinner at the place they first agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, Erwin was not at all unassuming. Not that that made it hurt any less. Sure- they didn’t love each other the way the busybodies wanted them to- but they did care enough to not want the other to keep hurting:

Marie liked his friend. Marie wanted to be with Nile. And Erwin wanted Marie to be happy. There really was no silencing the blather of busybodies- people would always have something to say- so Erwin and Marie ended their relationship, parting amicably.

Erwin thought he would be sad. He thought he would feel sorry. But Erwin felt neither sad nor sorry. In fact, if Erwin felt anything, it was a profound emptiness, not the kind from missing someone, but the kind that suggested he was never fulfilled to begin with. He was numb, and he had been so even before they broke up, maybe even before they got together; he felt no different now than he did then. If there was one word to describe what Erwin was feeling, it was nothing.

The breakup didn’t bother him.

But the fact he wasn’t bothered by it did. 

Erwin came to a terrifying realization that, desirable though he was, there was nobody for him- no one he could really click with or love in a way that transcended feelings, in the way his grandfather loved his grandmother, who continued to commit to her long after he struggled to remember her name- and he was perfectly fine with it.

Erwin was fine with being alone. 

And that bothered him.

Lust, he saw everywhere. Not that there was anything wrong with lust. Erwin liked a horny partner. But he wanted something more, someone who could fall in love with his naked soul as much as they loved his naked body. And that’s what made it difficult for him to call anyone his significant other and really mean it; the fact he had a soul that appalled those unlucky enough to see it. Because once anyone caught a glimpse, not even his naked body, in all its glory, would be enough to make them unsee it. Those who saw the inner man found it hard to stay, and Erwin wouldn’t make anyone stay. Even if he could. Neither was he willing to date anyone whom he couldn’t show his entirety to.

There were many who insisted they could handle it, but the moment he shared his deeper thoughts with them, thoughts that were disturbing, convictions that kept most awake at night, they would question whether getting intimate with the blond was really worth enduring his complexity. Then there were those like his good friend Hange, who were amazed by his mind and body, but not in any sexual way; Hange was no doubt interested in his insides, but more to learn what would happen to his organs if he ingested a particular toxin. They were not so interested, however, in discovering what it would be like to experience erotic pleasures with him. And then there were people like Mike, his best friend, who accepted him in every way- but Mike was not someone he could see as a lover, even if they’ve kissed more than once, though both would agree they only did so experimentally. The two cherished each other to the deepest degrees a man can cherish another man, but only to that which was considered platonic. Besides, Mike was going to propose to his girlfriend soon, and he and Nanaba were exclusive, and Mike and Erwin have already promised to be each other’s best man.

One way or another, it would seem Erwin was destined to be alone.

And he was okay with that.

And that scared him.

Many insisted something was wrong with him for being fine with it, or if no one thought it weird that the man would rather wait than compromise, there was also the thought he was missing out on something- a thing no human being in their right mind would want to miss out on- and that worried him. Because if that thing were so special, shouldn’t he be feeling more devastated about the breakup? Concerned, at least, that he wasn’t bothered enough to actually seek a significant other?

Yes. He was fine with being alone. He didn’t care what those busybodies had to say anymore. They would have something to say regardless of whether he was with someone or not, and for how long the average human being lived, there was always going to be something Erwin wouldn’t get to experience.

But why was it such a terrible thing for love to be one of them?

Deep in thought, not really paying attention to where his feet were taking him, Erwin was like a deer caught in headlights when he finally got out of his head enough to realise he was standing in front of a large fish tank- with no fish in it. He looked around. The place was dark. There were other tanks, dimly lit, also filled with water, but displaying nothing.

Where the hell was he? How did he get here?

Panicked, Erwin strode to the exit, but before he could get there, for how occupied he was with retracing his steps, he missed the wet floor sign.

And slipped.

He fell.

And the next thing he knew, he was gazing into the abyss. 

“Oi… what are you doing here?”

Erwin blinked a few times. There was a beam of light. The abyss was talking.

“Are you alive?” 

It was coming closer, and so was the light. 

Erwin must not go into the light.

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

Its voice was low and raspy, and apparently, it had fingers.

“Shit-” it cursed, “you’re not really here, are you?”

He heard some scuffling. The abyss, it turned out, was a person. And he was holding a torch. Erwin flinched as the person shone some direct light onto him, illuminating his face.

“Fuck. You’re bleeding-”

Erwin groaned as cool hands cupped his cheek. The person turned his head a bit to inspect his injury. Blinded by brightness, not fully aware of his surroundings, the blond grabbed at whoever it was that was holding him.

“D-don’t…” he managed, pushing the man’s wrist to get the light out of his eyes. Erwin tried again, this time clutching onto the man's other wrist on his cheek. “Don’t leave me,” he whimpered.

The person let his touch linger a little longer before prying Erwin off him and then himself off Erwin.

“We need to get you out of here,” he said. “Can you walk?”

Erwin tried to get up. He managed to stand for a few seconds before staggering and clutching onto the front of whatever the other person was wearing.

“Hey, easy there-” 

The other person wasn’t very tall, Erwin noticed. He was not standing at full height but his arms were already level with his shoulders. Overcome by a strong bout of dizziness, he would have shoved the man away, but Erwin knew he would fall and hit his head again if he did, so he threw up instead, still grabbing on to him, all over the dumbfounded man.

“S-sorry…” Erwin grimaced, wiping the vomit off his lips.

He could not see the one he was steadying himself on but he could bet he was clenching his jaws.

“I can’t have one good day here, can I?”

“I’m sorry,” Erwin apologized again.

“I think you might have a concussion. I’m taking you to see a doctor.”

“Okay.” 

“As soon as I’m done mopping your mess.”

“Okay.”

“And cleaning the mess on myself.”

Erwin attempted to straighten himself but the person stopped him. 

“No. You sit by that tank over there.” The man shone his torch on the closest one. “I will get back to you.”

Erwin scooted over to the empty tank. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

The other man placed the torch between his lips, using a washcloth to wipe Erwin's vomit off him, spraying himself with what Erwin assumed was disinfectant once his coveralls were free of the more solid bits. He proceeded to mop the mess Erwin made, first to get rid of it, and then to sterilize the area, walking over to Erwin once he was done to tend to him.

“I am sorry,” Erwin said for the fourth time, tears stinging his eyes. “I’m so so sorry.”

He heard a heavy sigh from the other man. “Stop that.”

“Huh?”

“Stop apologizing.”

“But-”

“I just mopped shit and left a wet floor sign in a dark place not expecting anyone to enter because this area’s off-limits. I have no idea how you got in, but for both our sakes, we’re going to pretend you were never here.”

“Okay…”

“So stop apologizing,” the man ordered. “If you were never here, you have nothing to apologize for.”

“Okay.” 

Erwin was not normally a man of few words, but being in a dim room with a single light source directed at him, not being able to see the face of his helper- right after throwing up all over him- was more than just a little unnerving.

It was petrifying!

“You’re lucky I’m clocking out now. I would have kept you in the broom closet if I wasn’t. I can’t let anyone see you.”

Erwin needed not question why. The man worked here and it was kind of his fault he was in this state. He would get into huge trouble if whoever was above him found out about Erwin.

“I’m gonna change into my day clothes and you’re getting into a wheelchair.” Levi knelt beside him. “The elevator is busted so I would need to carry you there.”

“What?”

“I’m not letting you walk. I can’t have you throwing up again.”

“But I’m heavy.”

“How heavy?”

“At least ninety kilos.”

“I can lift you.”

“You’re mad!”

“My uncle’s 120kg. I haul him all the time when he’s too shitfaced to walk.”

He can’t imagine how huge the man’s uncle was. Even Mike was 102kg, and he was only 4cm short of two meters!

“Say you could lift me-”

“I can.”

“Where are you getting a wheelchair from?”

“Broom closet.”

“You just happen to have a wheelchair in your broom closet?”

“It’s my Uncle Uri’s. He wouldn’t mind lending it to you. He’s a kind man.”

“I’m sure he is.” Why would his uncle leave his wheelchair there? Where exactly… “Where exactly am I?”

“Right now? Underground. Generally, Maria Aquarius.”

Erwin took a deep breath.

Maria Aquarius?

Of all places his feet could wander?

The _aquarium?_

“I’m Erwin,” he introduced himself, not wanting to get lost in thought. “Erwin Smith.”

“I know,” said the other man, hooking his arms under Erwin’s knees and shoulders.

As soon as he said that, Erwin felt himself being lifted from the ground, not too high from it, but effortlessly, as if the man who was carrying him was really used to lifting heavy things. Erwin peered up at him, confused. How could some janitor somewhere know who he was?

“I’m Levi,” his lifter said at last, his features coming into view as he neared the exit. “We go to the same university.”

Levi carried Erwin up the emergency stairs. He must have gone down them himself when he zoned out; the elevator was closed down for maintenance and there was no other way to the basement. Erwin studied his carrier, noticing several things at once: first of all, the man was young. In the dark, Erwin had assumed he was in his fifties. Those who worked as janitors in their region were rarely younger than forty. Secondly, this Levi was strong. He barely strained as he hauled him, step by step, onto the next floor. Erwin could feel the hardness of his muscles and he wondered if Levi was even human. Thirdly, Levi was pretty:

He had pale skin and black hair styled in an undercut, parted slightly off-centre, with bangs falling about grey eyes sporting a stare so done with the world. His nose was the straight kind that Erwin, who had to grow into his features, would have envied as a kid; Erwin had thick, bushy, eyebrows, and an aquiline nose- the blond wasn’t considered handsome until he hit puberty. Levi’s lips were fuller on the bottom, their corners downturned, the shape giving him a natural scowl that somehow suited him. Erwin admired his jawline, how the bone of his cheeks tapered smoothly into a narrow chin.

Levi was kind of cute.

“You’re Eldian too?”

“If that’s what you call those who go to the University of Eldia, then yes.”

“I’ve never seen you before.” Erwin frowned. “I would remember you if I did.”

Levi raised a brow but said nothing in reply.

The rest of the walk was quiet. Erwin was growing nauseous again. Levi managed to lower him onto a bench before he clamped a hand over his mouth, trying hard not to vomit again. He leaned back against the wall and waited for Levi to come back with a wheelchair. It was about fifteen minutes later, in which Erwin took an unadvised nap, that he stirred to the sound of wheels. His stomach squirmed at the sight of a small someone strolling towards him in a black hoodie and jeans; Levi had showered and he was pushing a wheelchair. On the seat were two canned drinks. Once he engaged the lock, Levi handed him one.

“Drink,” he urged, opening the can for Erwin. It was an isotonic beverage. “You need to regain your strength.” Levi used an alcohol swab to wipe the dried blood off Erwin’s forehead, placing a plaster over the cut he sustained from his fall. He then pressed the other can against the blond’s temple. “Does it hurt?”

Erwin winced. Levi’s stare was piercing. It was as if those eyes could see right through him, like his grey orbs were giving him an X-ray, a full-body scan he could actually feel. Erwin shook his head as vigorously as his vertigo would allow him.

“Good.” Levi brought Erwin’s free hand to his face to replace his own. “Hold it still.”

He was about to hook his arms under Erwin again to lift the blond onto the wheelchair when the man stopped him and insisted, “It’s okay, Levi. I can walk.”

“I’m not risking it.”

“You don’t have to lift me into the wheelchair. It’s right next to me,” Erwin huffed without looking at him, his tone irritated. “My legs still work and I don’t really have to stand up to get into it.”

In truth, Erwin was embarrassed. The noirette was doing strange things to him. He was making him stare and getting him out of his head, keeping him present long enough to keep his mind from wandering, something that normally happened when he gazed upon huge bodies of water. The fact he could focus on him and him alone, in the fucking city aquarium, right after bonking his head, was worth noting; Levi was not an ordinary encounter.

And that got to him.

Knowing the noirette existed made Erwin feel less okay about being alone.

Levi clicked his tongue. “Get on then. The sooner you're checked the better.”

“What are we going to tell them?” Erwin asked as he transferred himself onto the wheelchair. “They’ll want to know what happened.”

“The truth,” Levi answered, disengaging the lock. “We will tell them the truth.”

Levi steered him. Erwin felt a strange bubbling in his stomach. He’s never been in a wheelchair before, and to be taken care of like this… it reminded him of a time he was younger, a boy in a shopping cart half-filled with groceries, giggling as his father pushed him along. It was a time life was simpler.

Nostalgia.

That’s what was bubbling inside of him.

A sentimental longing for that which has passed.

Erwin was feeling nostalgic.

“I’ll tell them that I slipped and fell and hit my head in the basement.”

Levi tutted. “You will tell them that you slipped and fell and hit your head- full stop.”

“I think I’ll also mention I didn’t see the wet floor sign and I was in a rush.”

“That would be most wise.”

\- - - - -

At the clinic, Erwin was scanned for traumatic injuries. Results showed no internal bleeding nor bruising- just a surface injury- so they attributed his nausea and loss of consciousness to hunger and dehydration instead. It had been days since he last fed so it was highly probable his trembling and weakness and irritability were due to that. The man hadn’t slept well either, which greatly affected his ability to focus. Levi suspected Erwin was suffering more than he let on; how far could a person wander so aimlessly sleep-deprived?

“Where did you park your car? You shouldn’t drive in your state. I’ll get it to your home if you give me an address.”

“I didn’t,” Erwin winced as the nurse inserted a needle through which he would receive IV fluids. “I walked from campus.”

“You _walked_ all the way to the aq-” Levi stopped himself before he could say aquarium. He didn’t want anyone knowing where they were from. They both agreed to leave that part out. Levi would get into so much trouble with his superiors if they found out what happened to Erwin. What happened to him could have happened to any other staff member if they happened to be at the basement at that time, and they were not the sort to fault injuries borne by themselves on themselves, which was why it was best they knew nothing about him; they would sooner blame the janitor for not turning on the lights than they would themselves for walking around in the dark, and Erwin would get in trouble for trespassing. “You walked all the way from campus?” Levi rephrased. “Like a zombie?”

Erwin chuckled at his remark though Levi found nothing funny about it. “I was trying to clear my head,” he explained.

“A meal and some sleep would have worked better.”

“I didn’t feel like sleeping.”

“Whether you felt like it or not, your body needed it. And nutrients.”

Levi hadn’t the faintest idea why he was berating him. It’s not like Erwin was his responsibility. Why should it matter to him if the blond stranger wasn’t taking good care of himself? It’s not like he’ll come to the basement to slip and fall there again- not from staying awake and starving himself- so what difference would it make if he did? He wasn’t a threat either. Erwin wouldn’t say anything to his superiors for the very same reason Levi wouldn’t rat on Erwin; he had no business telling him off. His job was to clean floors, not babysit some fully grown adult… and yet, the noirette could not help but worry for him.

“I’ll be fine,” Erwin insisted, as if reading Levi’s mind. “I’ll take a taxi. You don’t have to wait for me.” He pursed his lips towards the IV. “Besides, this will take some time.”

“I’m not going anywhere until I know you’ve eaten,” Levi blurted.

Erwin cocked his head.

Shit.

“You have a very caring friend there. You should listen to him.” The nurse finished adjusting his drip. “I’ll come back in thirty,” she said before moving on to another patient.

Levi turned a very bright red.

Erwin could skip as many meals as he wanted. It shouldn’t affect Levi in any way. The blond was an entitled brat with no real talent except for inheriting money and looking handsome. Why should people like Levi, who had to take on multiple jobs just to pay for tuition, be concerned for the likes of him? Levi wouldn’t mean to him as much as he meant to Levi. Someone as popular as Erwin probably had many Levis while Levi would only have one Erwin. The noirette could ditch him right now without worrying there was no one to take over. He could- and how unburdened he would be right now if he did- but he did not want to.

“I’m staying,” Levi repeated more to assure himself. “It’s not like me to do things half-way.”

“Sorry,” Erwin muttered, his mouth opening and closing. It looked like he wanted to say more, but no sound left his lips.

That got on Levi’s nerves too. For the past hour, Erwin has done nothing other than apologize.

What was he even that sorry for?

“You’ll make it up to me by telling me where you live so I could send you home after you had a proper meal.”

Erwin peered up at his fellow Eldian, astonished, as if no one has ever offered him dinner and a ride home before. Levi maintained his gaze and Erwin looked away; the blond was tall and muscular yet there was something about the way he carried himself that made it feel like he was _much_ much smaller. Perhaps it was the slump of his broad shoulders or the way he twiddled his thumbs, but Erwin had an air about him that did not match his size- or age. He had a slight stubble on his strong jaws and a nose befitting ancient roman aristocracy, his thick eyebrows framed his clear blue eyes most artistically- but those beautiful blue eyes, normally so determined, were in this instant, rather glassy. They made Levi feel almost guilty.

He wanted to ask what was wrong, but at the same time, Levi did not want Erwin to think he cared _that_ much about him, in spite of what the nurse has already observed and said regarding him. The mollycoddled man was probably used to having people lick his ass. He needed to know what it was like to not be able to charm somebody into giving a shit about him, to actually work for his comfort like everybody else. Nope. Those heartfelt puppy dog eyes would not work on him.

But wait. Levi frowned. Why was he making all these assumptions?

The few times he has come across him in the halls when they walked by each other, the blond was always so dignified, so confident, talking and acting like he got it all. Was it because of _that_ that he assumed Erwin has never experienced hardship therefore he was a pompous piece of shit who finally got a taste of what it’s like to exist without privileges?

But why would someone like that look at Levi like he was offering him the world when all the noirette said was he was going to make sure Erwin was fed before sending him home?

In addition to that, Erwin’s closest friends weren’t all wealthy, well-connected, people, so it’s not like he only befriended those he could benefit from- if he didn’t actually _buy_ his friends. Levi took a deep breath. He was doing it again. He was making mean assumptions. Whatever was causing his distaste, now that Levi really thought about it, might not even be Erwin himself. Maybe the man was good at hiding shit. Him acting like he has never had a bad day in his life didn’t mean he _really_ never had a bad day in his life; it just meant Erwin was good at acting like every day was sunshine and rainbows. Maybe Levi just didn’t like the category he put the blond in: rich kid with influence. Erwin shared a few things with people Levi certainly abhorred.

Nicholas Lovof. Djel Sannes. That guy who called him a prude for refusing to suck his dick.

They were all rich, influential, people.

Everything Erwin was.

Yet Erwin was different.

Erwin wasn’t asking anything of him. He wasn’t flexing his money or his muscles or blowing kisses at Levi with hopes he’d feed him. He wasn’t extorting extra services from him or blackmailing him into taking him home either. Quite the contrary, Erwin was _refusing_ his help. It was Levi who refused to leave him alone. Flushing at that realization, he decided to swallow his pride-

“You okay?” Levi asked in a kinder tone than intended. “You look like you need to shit but it won’t come out.”

Erwin shook his head. “I’m fine.”

Levi did not press him to talk. He knew the difference between a real fine and the kind of fine one said so the other would stop asking. He decided to ask Erwin a different question.

“I’m famished.” Levi rubbed his belly. “Where would you like to eat?”

Erwin shrugged. “I’ll go wherever you take me.”

Levi held back an urge to sigh. Whatever happened to the blond who was always so sure of everything? This guy receiving the intravenous fluids next to him right now- he didn’t even seem like he had the will to live! Was he even the same Erwin?

“I’m hungry for fish and chips.” Levi studied him. Would he protest?

“Then I’ll have fish and chips too.”

He did not.

This Erwin was really going to go wherever Levi took him.

\- - - - -

It took about 25 minutes for Erwin to empty his IV and by the time he was done, his stomach was rumbling. Needless to say, he was hungry. And ashamed. Because he was unable to hide his hunger. Levi scoffed at how ridiculous he was being for trying to convince him he wasn’t _that_ hungry. He drove them to the pier where he bought two large fish and chip meals along with cups of hot tea. The sun had set by the time they sat on a bench overlooking the sea.

Erwin trembled. He normally thought about a certain someone here, where tides made their presence known, but not now. Now, his thoughts were occupied with the food on his lap and the one who bought it for him.

“I would take you someplace fancier but that would fill your belly too so you best eat it, Erwin Smith.”

The way the noirette said it was reprimanding, as if accusing Erwin of being a pompous, picky, prat, but the blond did not miss the kindness that came with his implication; this was the best he could afford, and with what little he had, Levi decided to make sure Erwin, a man who never knew of his existence until today, unlike how Levi knew of his, would go home fed.

He sniffed his dinner of potatoes and cod, hot and greasy, fresh from the fryer. Erwin apologized for the internal thunderstorm that was his stomach. He had been surviving on energy bars and coffee and what he threw up all over Levi earlier were the last of his rations. He had other food in his apartment, and it’s not like he couldn’t cook, but Erwin had not had enough appetite to prepare or eat anything bigger than his two fingers- so he was grateful for Levi’s stubbornness. Thanks to him, Erwin would get to eat an actual meal, and he was surprised to find himself actually wanting to.

“How much was this?” Erwin asked timidly.

“My treat.”

“Levi. You’ve done too much for me already. I can’t eat for free. How much did both our meals cost?”

“Repay me tonight by going to bed and getting good sleep.”

“That is not a fair arrangement.”

“It is. I invest in your wellbeing, I’m repaid knowing you’re well. Now eat.”

Erwin’s stomach did another rumble. He did not need telling twice. He stabbed a few chips and shoved them into his mouth, scoffing a morsel of fish before he could finish swallowing the steamy potato sticks. The blond ate under the strict supervision of his new companion. When he was about half-way done, he sipped some tea and burped, casting an apologetic sideways glance at Levi. Erwin expected to see an expression of disgust on the man’s cute, deadpanned, face, but he saw instead, the faint start of a smile.

“That’s a good boy,” Levi complimented.

Erwin blushed.

A good boy.

Only his father called him that.

“Why…?” Erwin asked after a while, staring intently at his food.

“Why not?” Levi asked back.

“You don’t know me.” The blond toyed with a chip. “Why are you going above and beyond to help me when you don’t even know me?”

“Do I have to?” Levi munched on his fish. He swallowed. “I’ll be damned if so. Nearly nobody knows me.”

“Oh.” Erwin bit his lip, overcome by feelings of guilt. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”

“Tch. I get it. You’re wondering what I want in return. Who the hell helps anyone for free these days, am I right?”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“I don’t want anything other than for you to finish your food and get good sleep once I send you home.”

Erwin knitted his brows.

“What?” Levi stabbed another morsel.

The blond shook his head. It’s not that he did not believe Levi. He believed him. He could not really explain it but Erwin could feel in his gut that Levi was not doing any of this so he could later use it for emotional blackmail; the man was sincere. It was not Levi; it was him. Erwin was having a hard time believing he was allowed to receive such kindness without paying dearly for it.

“It’s nothing,” he lied.

His own father had passed away in very unnatural circumstances soon after providing a partial-answer to Erwin’s most frequently asked question, as if the intense gratification he received from knowing things must be weighed out by equally grievous loss. It was difficult for him to receive anything good without fearing something bad will happen if he did not somehow pay for the good things he received. For that reason, Erwin would almost always refuse help, because what if he was not able to pay? What would life then take away from him? A debt with life must always be paid.

“Then eat,” Levi said softly, bringing Erwin back to the present.

Erwin nodded. “Sorry.”

Levi clenched his fist, and then he unclenched it.

“I don’t know what you’re sorry for,” the man began, “but I doubt it’s anything that needs forgiving.”

Erwin chewed his lip. “It’s not something that can be forgiven.”

“You murdered someone or something?”

Erwin shook his head.

“Then what did you do that’s so unforgivable?”

“You helped me.” Who knows what would have happened to him if the janitor did not revisit the basement he just mopped before clocking out, if he did not take Erwin to the hospital to be checked and rehydrated, if he did not buy Erwin a warm meal that made the blond realise exactly how much his body needed food? Levi literally saved his life. “You helped me and I am not sure if I would ever be able to repay you.”

Levi scoffed. “So you will forever apologize to me for treating you like a human being?”

\- - - - - 

The noirette stabbed some chips with his fork to feed them to Erwin. The blond opened his mouth without thinking, too lost in thought to notice what his companion was doing. Erwin had stopped eating a bit before he started asking Levi why he was being so nice to him. Levi wanted to make sure, no matter how far the man was going to wander in his head, that he would finish his dinner, so he helped feed him.

“Another one, Erwin. Open wide-” he gave him another helping of fish. “Good boy!”

That seemed to snap him out of his daydream. The blond looked down at his food, somewhat taken aback to find only a few stabs of chips left, and then he peered at Levi, who was holding the final fork of fish to his lips.

“I want that as my last bite,” he said to him.

Levi felt something stir in his chest- surprise? amusement?- spreading quickly to his face. He bit back a smile. Erwin was a petty man after all. He found that comforting. Being petty meant caring to some extents that one was alive and he was relieved to find that kind of care on Erwin. Levi dropped the cod back onto the greasy wrapping paper and stabbed the remaining chips, saying nothing as the blond chomped down on the fork, wondering how often his friends fed him like this that the blond wasn’t asking for his utensil back or insisting he could feed himself. It was like he wasfinally letting Levi take care of him.

“Here.” Levi stabbed the cod. “Your last bite.”

Erwin took it with water brimming in his eyes. Whatever the man has been through, this was clearly invoking some memories. Why else would a grown man tear up from being fed cod? Levi decided not to ask Erwin if he was okay. The blond would only either apologize for displaying emotion or he would actually start crying, in which case Levi would not know what to do to comfort him.

“Let’s wash our hands and get you home,” he said when the blond was done eating. “Where do you stay?”

Erwin regarded Levi for a moment before replying.

“I stay in campus. Just drop me off at the West Gate. I can walk the rest of the way back.”

“It’s dark. I’m not letting you.”

“Levi-”

“I stay in campus too,” Levi confessed. “Which residential building, Erwin? I’ll drop you off on the way to mine.”

Erwin played with the lather on his palms.

“Stohess,” he fessed up eventually. “I stay in Stohess.”

Levi stilled for a moment. “You do?”

“Yes…” Erwin answered with a questioning tone.

“Which floor?”

“The third.”

Levi tensed up. Erwin cocked his head.

Shit. He noticed again.

It was too late for Levi to act like he wasn’t affected by his answer.

“Well then,” he sighed, rinsing his hands, trying his best to play it cool. “We best be heading to Stohess then, aren’t we? _Floormate._ ”


	2. Endearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin remembers his father's last words. Levi talks to his uncle. They both try to make sense of their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little carried away writing this chapter; they were written during some very emotional real-life moments. You might not cry where I cried though. In any case, thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoy this update!

Erwin lay in bed after a thorough shower, for once in a long time, feeling sleepy without the aid of cough syrup. He stared at the ceiling as his lids grew heavier, trying his best to make sense of the day. Everything before noon had been vague- most mornings were since the breakup- and if he had been conscious of his surroundings at all before he arrived at that empty fish tank, it was when he was tying his shoelaces, recalling the first time he learned how to from his father.

And then he was at Maria Aquarius, and not even at the entrance: _the basement_. He could not say he was drawn to the place. What was there even to draw him? There weren’t even any fish in those tanks. And it was dark. Why did his feet take him there?

Why was he even wondering why his feet took him anywhere?

However pointless his previous destinations have been, Erwin never cared enough to question his _feet_. If the aquarium was special, it was only because it was a place he normally avoided, yet deep down inside, he knew that was not what was truly disturbing him. Erwin could not care less that his aimless wandering took him to the aquarium; he cared that was where his aimless wandering stopped… almost as if he found what he was looking for.

But what was he looking for?

What happened in the basement of Maria Aquarius was a first for Erwin. He has never fainted in such a way before. For how glum his surroundings had been, not knowing where one darkness started and the other ended, he wasn’t even sure how long he even blacked out. And the white light he saw at some point in that darkness- Erwin thought he was nearing his end, that the low and raspy voice he heard was just someone on the other side calling him. It wasn’t until the man to whom the voice belonged touched him that he realized he was not at all dead; he was just too weak to get up on his own.

And the feel of Levi’s palm against his cheek had been grounding. It was cool and comforting and it brought him even further away from that dark place. He needed it. He needed Levi’s touch like fire needed oxygen. Thinking about it now, it seemed ridiculous how far he went to procure it, but back at the basement, confused and alone, it made perfect sense: Erwin needed strength, and strength was what Levi gave him.

It wasn’t at all absurd what he did. Erwin had been afraid. It was perfectly within reason for him to ask someone who made him feel safe to keep him company, even if he just met him- because that was precisely what Levi did: Levi made Erwin feel safe. He made him feel corporeal enough to let his guard down, to taste the true extent of his vulnerability, and that’s probably why Erwin, who had learned long ago not to need anyone, felt secure enough to beg the stranger to stay with him: he has never felt so human, so in need of protecting, in a _very_ long time- and Levi made him feel protected.

Erwin’s thoughts returned to the last time he begged anyone to stay. He hugged his plush bunny closer to him, the soft toy on his chest missing an eye, and its fur, once white, was now yellowish. Its limbs were not as full as they used to be and it smelled strongly of musk, but Erwin would never dispose of it. It was one of his father’s last gifts to him.

Professor Elric Smith had given the plush bunny to his son to let Erwin know he would always be with him, even on that day the rise and fall of his chest was not nearly as deep or as strong as it should have been, and Erwin had to answer questions he did not understand as he watched the ambulance take his Papa away, the bunny, still white, peeking out of his schoolbag, was a testament to his Papa’s presence.

Papa would always be with him. He said so himself. And Erwin always listened to what Papa said.

But then Papa said he was going to meet Mama soon, and he cannot take Erwin with him, and Erwin never saw Mama except for in pictures, so if Papa was going to meet Mama soon, and he was not taking Erwin with him, that could only mean Erwin would only see his Papa in pictures.

“But what if I get sad?” His little self whined, lips quivering. “What if I need a hug?”

Pictures can’t hug. Erwin knew that.

“Come here,” his father heaved, eyes barely open. “I’m here, Winnie.”

“Don’t go anywhere!” The boy yelled through his tears, angry at his old man for even suggesting it.

“I’m not.”

“But you said-” he sobbed- “you said you’re going.”

Papa didn’t say much afterwards. He only held Erwin’s cheek.

“Don’t go,” little Erwin repeated, clutching his father’s hand, knuckles as white as his plushie.

Elric breathed, speaking slowly- “Erwin…” he managed. “Where’s… bunny?”

“In my bag,” Erwin cried, answering steadily in spite of himself.

“Take it….”

Every word took immense effort.

Erwin rushed to his bag to grab the plush toy.

“Here Papa.”

He placed the plushie on his father’s chest. Tears were flowing more freely now. The drowsy man gave it a single-armed hug, holding his young son in the other one.

“When…” Elric struggled, “…Papa‘s gone…” he paused to gather breath, “…and you… are sad-”

Erwin bit his lip. He bit it hard.

“Hug…” his Papa wheezed, “…your bunny.”

Little Erwin whimpered, “Papa…”

“Hug it…” his father repeated- “…I hug…” incoherence- “…you…”

Then Papa went quiet.

And he stayed quiet.

“Papa?” Erwin shook him. He yelled seconds later, “Papa..!”

But no matter how hard little Erwin wailed for him, how loudly he screamed and pled for Papa not to leave him, Papa would not speak another word again.

“Papa! Don’t leave me!” The young boy clung onto him, crying bitterly into his very still chest. “Don’t leave me…!”

He stayed there until the nurses came- until they had to pry him off him.

“Don’t-” little Erwin sobbed as they reeled his father’s corpse away-

“Don’t…” grown Erwin sobbed into his plush bunny.

He held on to it just how his Papa told him, curling into the smallest ball his large frame could form. Hugging the bunny meant Papa was hugging him.

“…don’t leave me,” Erwin sobbed.

He thought of his Papa, and then he thought of Levi.

\- - - - -

Levi sat on his desk in front of his laptop, his slender hands on his keyboard no longer typing. He had a few assignments to finish, three of which were due in two days. He should have finished it before dinner but he had more urgent matters to tend to. Levi peered at the time. It was two in the morning. It has been five hours since he got to his room after escorting Erwin to his. He did not return to his own until after Erwin had showered and climbed into bed and he himself had tucked him in.

That look he had about his eyes when Levi did that though- when he tucked him in- the noirette was not sure what to make of it: there was grief and exhaustion, thankfulness and pleading, and then in those icy blues, there was recognition. Levi knew the man was not well acquainted with him. That much was established when Erwin admitted to never having seen him. He said he would have remembered him if he did. But the way the blond looked at him when the noirette drew the covers up to his chin…

It was like Erwin knew him.

Levi cracked his neck and sighed. Why was he even thinking about him? The man was probably sleeping and he had an essay on Mutualistic Symbiosis to complete. He redirected his focus to the long paragraphs on his computer screen. The full-time student spent another few minutes working on his assignment, submitting the damned thing just before three. He was about to start a new task- Levi liked getting shit over and done with- but he made a conscious decision to stop himself. He had more than enough time to get everything done tomorrow. Why should he push himself to get everything done now?

_So you can spend more time with Erwin._

Levi shook his head. He took a deep breath. He _did not_ just think that. Spend more time? With Erwin? Why on earth would he? The noirette massaged his neck. He was behind on his work _because_ of him. If he was going to push himself tonight, it’s because he needed to catch up on his assignments, _not_ because he wanted to spend more time with Erwin!

Levi saved his files and put his laptop to sleep. He climbed into bed fully dressed, stuffing a white pillow over his head. His face was burning. _For real?_ His blood coursed with adrenaline. _How was this even happening?_ Levi groaned into his pillow, knowing the answers but not wanting to admit them. He fisted the soft material in a bid to calm himself.

Erwin lived only doors away from him.

It hadn’t been easy for Levi to not think about that. He wanted to get all his assignments done now because he was not sure he could trust himself to do them later, distracted as he was by his new friend. It was a little messed up, but he found the blond’s helplessness more appealing. He didn’t like the confident Erwin that strutted about campus like he owned it: he liked this broken version of him. Wait. No. That wasn’t quite right. He wasn’t happy because Erwin was hurting. He didn’t like seeing anyone hurt. He was happy because of something else: he got to see a more genuine side to Erwin the man has probably never shown anyone.

It made Levi feel special.

But since when did he care for being special? Why did it matter now all of a sudden that he was not a common person in Erwin’s life? All he did was get a glimpse at his less dignified side. He wouldn’t have seen it if he didn’t stumble upon him. And Erwin didn’t show shit for trusting him; he was probably at some breaking point and Levi just happened to be there. Erwin did not willingly open up to him. He was simply spilling from being overwhelmed and Levi was in the right place, right time, to see him break. Erwin would have done the same- opened up- had anyone other than Levi been the one to come across him.

Levi was not special.

He was just lucky.

Levi removed the pillow from his face when he had sobered enough. He had to do it, he had to remind himself he was not as important to Erwin as he wanted to believe he was. It felt important, somehow, for avoiding some kind of huge disappointment. If it had been anyone else who stumbled upon him, he bet the blond would have reacted the same way. The man was not in a good place physically and mentally. Any help at all would have been welcome. It did not have to be Levi’s. Erwin was thankful towards him, but he hadn’t displayed weakness because Levi earned his trust enough to: he displayed it because he could not hide anymore.

_Yet he accepted your help. He even let you tuck him into bed._

Would a man keep up an act after getting caught like that? That’s the only reason Erwin didn’t. Levi saw him in such a pitiful state, the blond probably saw no more point in pretending he was okay. If he hadn’t found him passed out in the basement…

Levi rolled onto his stomach and pondered that.

What would have happened if he hadn’t found him?

What would have happened if someone else did?

Both would be in a very different place right now; Erwin might not be in his own bed, and Levi would have lost his job. The noirette pressed his face into his pillow. Perhaps he wasn’t important to Erwin because he saw a side to him no one else got to see- the blond did not show it to him voluntarily- but he was important regardless, because regardless of how he came to be there, Levi helped Erwin. Yes, he did not need his help specifically. Anyone else could have taken care of him. But they didn’t.

Levi did.

He was significant, even if he was not special.

The noirette sighed into his pillow. His cheeks were burning again.

He was significant to Erwin.

\- - - - -

Erwin was restless. He stared at his own two feet. They led him to a strange place yesterday. He would have let them lead him to a new place today if he didn’t feel as weak or as sick as he did. In spite of how much care he received, he was feeling worse today than he did any other day since the breakup; his body was probably, finally, realizing how exhausted it was, and his eyes- Erwin actually wet his pillow with tears last night.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he cried.

_Levi._

When the noirette cupped his cheek last night, ever so tenderly like only one other man ever did, his touch reminded Erwin of things he convinced himself he was not missing: being cared for, and being able to trust another human being. With Levi, he felt both strong and weak: strong, because he was at long last able to admit he was _not_ okay with being alone, even if indirectly through tears- tears that would not otherwise be there if he kept his facade up- and weak, because now he was aware of how desperately he was yearning, and that yearning was dangerous.

He could feel it already, even after only getting to know him, how dependent he was becoming on him. It was turning Erwin into a parasite, a bloodsucking leech, and that dependency, if it didn’t faze the noirette, could become the very thing that destroyed him. It wasn’t Levi’s job to keep Erwin safe and healthy. Like now, for instance, Erwin should be hungry enough to eat- and he was hungry- but he did not feel the need to feed because Levi was not there to eat with him. How toxic, how impractical, would that make their relationship? How much of a burden he would be to Levi if his survival rested on him? He was not Levi’s responsibility, but if the noirette was a willing host, he might find himself being fed on- because Erwin was hungry! And the blond was not sure if he could stop himself now that he has had a taste of him. But If he kept feeding off him-

“I would hurt him…” Erwin muttered to himself.

He did not want to hurt Levi. He knew how heavy a burden he would be on the man if he let him carry him, even if he could, even if he literally has. Even if Levi was willing, Erwin had a responsibility to save the man from himself. He would not be able to deal with the guilt that would follow if anything irreversible became of him as a result of it. That’s why he must steer clear of the man while the will to do so existed. Levi didn’t just touch his cheek; he touched a part of him he didn’t think anyone could reach, a dark and greedy part of him he was desperate to spare him from. Now that he knew how good it felt, to be cared for by Levi, it was hard to not want that touch again. That touch made him feel alive. He needed it.

But Erwin might hurt him with such need.

No. He will steer clear of him. Out of mercy, Erwin would not allow Levi to think he must or should keep helping him. He would become irrevocably addicted to him and who knows the lengths the noirette might go to make sure he got his fix. He certainly went above and beyond to help Erwin before even getting to know him; how much more would he trouble himself once he knew the emotional baggage Erwin was carrying? Everyone who cared about him ended up dead; Erwin did not want Levi to die.

Papa passed on trying to provide him with answers. At that time, that had been Erwin’s deepest desire: to know things. He did not want to lose Levi from the same deep desire, even if for something completely different, something more potent that the blond had yet to find a name for. It would be selfish of him to want something so much that can only be given to him by another person, for even if that person was willing to give it to him, it would not benefit Levi more than it would benefit him, and anything less than equal was not something to be desired. It would make him a parasite, and Erwin hated parasites.

A knock on his door jolted him out of his ruminations.

\- - - - -

Levi stared at the thin slices of meat in his ramen. The noodles were silky and the broth, rich. It wasn’t every day he got to eat like this. His Uncle Uri decided to treat him to it after he told him about his wheelchair and how it came to be in his car instead of the janitor’s closet. Proud of his nephew for helping another human being, the kind-hearted man thought he should be rewarded for it.

“What’s wrong, son?” Chirped the old chap who was even littler than Levi. “Is it not to your liking?”

“No. Not at all, Uncle. It’s perfect.” Levi grabbed his spoon and chopsticks. “Thank you for this.”

Uri cocked his head. “Is that all that’s on your mind?”

Had the question come from anyone else, Levi would have told them to fuck off, but he could never be rude to his Uncle Uri. The benevolent Director of Maria Aquarius was the only person his brash Uncle Kenny respected enough to listen to and the only man with whom Levi felt being polite was more natural. Besides, if anyone could help him sort out his feelings, it would have to be someone who could say ‘I do’ to Kenny without flinching.

“I don’t know how to say it,” Levi admitted, redirecting the topic back to food by dipping his spoon into his broth and tasting it. “This is really good.”

Uri smiled and slurped his noodles too. “This is where your uncle and I first met.”

“Here?”

“Yes. At that table over there. He nearly sat on me because, according to him, I was the same colour as the wall. And he didn’t see me because I was so small.”

Uri uttered it so fondly Levi can’t help but ask, “what did you see in him? My uncle’s so loud and callous and you’re…”

“The complete opposite?”

“Yeah.”

“Well…” Uri sipped some broth, scooping more noodles into his mouth, buying himself more time to think. He only spoke after washing the morsel down with iced tea. “Your uncle was not someone I imagined I would marry. I made that no secret. And Kenny never imagined himself settling down either. It took time for us to see anything worthwhile in the other person.” Uri smiled, a fond look invading his eyes. “But once we saw it, neither of us wanted to blink.”

“And what did you see in Kenny that made you not want to blink?”

“A good man with no pretence.” Uri chuckled as Levi made a face. “I don’t expect you to see him the way I do.”

“It would be weird if I did.”

Levi slurped the rest of his ramen. It didn’t take long for him to finish his food in spite of his best attempts to savour it. He was just so used to eating quickly from having a heck lot to do in a day that really chewing and tasting his food made him anxious, like eating was a leisure activity he would pay dearly for spending too much time on or something.

“You’re still worried about him, aren’t you?” Uri observed the 22-year-old; Levi was staring intently at the bottom of his blue and white ramen bowl as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “You don’t have work today, and you’ve already finished all of your assignments… yet it seems like you need to be somewhere else right now.”

Levi checked his features to make sure they gave absolutely nothing away.

“It’s okay,” Uri added, not wanting his nephew to think he was making fun of him. “Your uncle was like that with me too.”

“Like how?”

“Distracted, but pleasantly so.”

Levi furrowed his brows. “You think I have a thing for him?”

Neither needed to speak Erwin’s name for it was perfectly clear to whom Levi was referring.

“Whether or not you have feelings for him, you’re clearly concerned for him.” Uri poured more tea into Levi’s cup. The younger man chugged it like it was beer. “You took very good care of him, did you not?”

Levi did. More than necessary. But it did not feel enough.

“He looked at me weird,” Levi recalled Erwin’s gaze as he put him to bed. “Like he didn’t want me to leave him or something.”

“I see.”

“Felt like I should have stayed with him.”

Uri nodded, understanding.

“And I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Uri leaned back against the wall, as white and as shiny as his hair. “You know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think you should visit him.”

“Wh-what?”

“Pay him a visit!” Uri repeated.

“I heard you the first time.”

Levi meant to ask why.

“It would put your mind to rest,” the middle-aged man insisted.

“I didn’t exactly meet him in his most dignified state. I doubt he’d want to see me again.”

“I doubt someone who stared at you like one who didn’t want you to go would be unwelcoming of your company.”

Levi was about to retort, but his uncle raised a hand for the waiter. “Pork ramen. To go.”

“For Kenny?” Levi’s stomach squirmed at the random order. “Doesn’t my uncle like lamb better?”

Uri chuckled. “No, dear. It’s not for Kenny. It’s for Erwin!”

His heart thudded faster, heat rose to his face. From the moment they started talking about the blond until then, they always referred to him by his pronouns. To hear his name spoken out loud- Levi placed both palms on his cheeks; his hands were cool against them. If the mere mention of Erwin’s name was already affecting him, how was he going to handle _visiting_ him?

“It’s not for my uncle?” Levi asked again, just to be sure, maybe even to convince Uri he actually meant to buy the noodles for someone else. He was _not_ ready to meet up with Erwin. “I mean, Kenny likes lamb more, but he won’t say no to pork!”

“I don’t believe I have ever seen you this flustered,” Uri noted, smiling.

Levi did not remove his hands from his face.

“What does this young man look like, might I know?”

Levi’s heart skipped a beat.

“He’s tall,” his temperature spiked a few degrees, “and blond.”

“I see.”

“He’s not how I thought he was.”

“People rarely are.”

“But I completely misjudged him.”

“How so?”

“I thought he was a pompous prat, an arrogant asshole-”

“But…?”

“I don’t know.” Levi shook his head. “I…”

Uri listened patiently. His nephew expressed his emotions every now and then, to him at least, but the younger Ackerman also struggled with putting such things into words.

“I saw a human being,” Levi managed, “who could not see himself the same way.”

“Oh dear.”

“He kept refusing my help.” Levi already told this story, but only the technical aspects of it. “A self-centred, good for nothing pig would not act the way he did.”

“And what way was that?”

“Like it’s wrong for him to receive help.” Levi dropped his hands to his lap. “He wasn’t refusing aid because mine wasn’t good enough. It’s more like… like he was convinced he didn’t deserve any,” Levi finished his own sentence. “He kept saying sorry.” It was disturbing. “He’s not as entitled as I thought he was.”

_And therefore, maybe, I don’t dislike him as much as I did._

In fact, seeing him in such a state, how pitiful the man had been in the basement, Levi felt sorry for Erwin. For once, he saw him as a man, a being made of flesh like any other. Erwin was not some flawless machine. He was a person with human thoughts and human feelings. And maybe, _maybe,_ the only reason Levi disliked him was because he did not immediately see this human side of him. But now that he did...

“Uncle Uri…”

“Yes, son?”

“What if I do have feelings for him?”

It was ridiculous. They only met yesterday. They barely knew each other! Granted Levi had been keeping an eye on Erwin well before the blond took notice of him- he was something of a celebrity in their university- there was only so much social media could tell him. People only shared what they wanted others to see. How could he say he really knew the man if he was as taken aback as he had been when he got a glimpse of that side to Erwin the blond probably wanted nobody to see?

“What if I don’t just care about him? What if I actually like him?”

“Does the feeling bother you?”

“Isn’t it too early to tell?”

Uri paused for a moment to think about the Ackerman he married. “You have good instincts and a strong intuition, just like your Uncle,” he said, pondering. “It’s not too early to tell; you’re just faster at realising it than most.”

Levi took a deep breath. “I never felt this way before.”

“I noticed.”

“It’s crazy.”

“It is.” Uri agreed.

“So. The noodles-” Levi hesitated, “…they’re for Erwin?”

\- - - - -

Erwin approached the door the same way a cat would its prey: cautiously. He was not expecting visitors. The person knocked again but said nothing on the other end, so it could not have been anyone with official business with him. They would have stated who they were and why they were there if so. The blond grabbed the doorknob, twisted it, and opened it a smidge. He peered through the crack and saw a slender figure on the other side.

The man was wearing an oversized white T-shirt paired with dark jeans, a black watch, and a black and white baseball cap that hid the upper half of his face. The lower half of his face was obscured by a black anti-dust mask. He held a takeaway bag out to Erwin, looking somewhat fashionable for a delivery boy. The blond caught whiffs of savoury pork.

“I’m sorry. I don’t believe I ordered anything.” Erwin’s stomach grumbled. He really wished he did.

But the delivery boy did not leave. Instead, he pulled his mask down to reveal the lower half of his face. He had supple skin, a narrow chin, and the softest pair of lips Erwin has ever seen.

“I went out for ramen and thought to get you some,” those lips said, their low rasp a contrast to their delicate appearance.

“Oh. How random.” Erwin chuckled, studying the man’s little scowl. “Do delivery men normally buy food for-”

“Erwin. It’s me.” Levi removed his cap impatiently. “I bought you lunch or whatever it’s called when you eat at three.”

“Ohh! Oh Levi! Sh-” Erwin coughed, stumbling over his words, “I’m so sorry! You look very different. Your clothes-” he helped Levi with the takeaway and opened the door wider, inviting him in. “I mean. They’re plain-” he shook his head; he meant to say cool. “Sorry about the food- the mess. Ah-” He should really stop talking now. “I mean thank you. It’s really good to see you.”

Erwin closed the door and plopped himself down on his bed, placing the takeaway next to him and shoving his plush bunny under the covers. He was not expecting to see Levi again so soon. For how much he thought about him since he woke up, the blond was surprised he did not immediately recognize him.

“I had a rough night,” Erwin made an excuse for himself.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Levi mumbled, tidying Erwin’s desk before relocating the takeaway to his table, apparently disapproving of the way he put it on his bed. Erwin shivered. Their hands nearly touched. “How are you feeling today though?”

“A little out of it, to be honest.”

“Have you eaten yet?”

Erwin paused. “I ate an energy bar,” he offered, as if an energy bar counted as lunch. “And drank coffee.”

“You’ll need more than energy bars and coffee,” Levi muttered, throwing Erwin’s used clothes into a laundry basket.

The blond watched as Levi grabbed the broom and, before he could stop his surprise visitor, the noirette started sweeping.

“Levi, you don’t have to do that.”

“Of course I do. You’ll feel much better once your room is spruced.”

“This is no way to treat a guest.”

“I’m not a guest. I’m your friend. And you’re not exactly-” Levi stopped himself- “your room needs more air.” He changed the subject, walking over to the windows. “Best eat your food while it’s warm.”

Levi opened the slats and continued sweeping. Erwin watched him, both intrigued and uncomfortable. He knew his room wasn’t in pristine condition, but it wasn’t utterly filthy either, not filthy enough to warrant a washdown by a man he only met 24 hours ago anyways- but he can’t find the will to stop him. Not yet.

He was thorough, even reaching under the bed and study table for debris. The flex of his biceps as he swept one area after the other, the curve of his back as he bent low to reach under his desk, the jut of his buttocks just the stretch of an arm away from Erwin’s face-

Erwin gave himself an internal slap. Since when did he start seeing Levi that way? He shouldn’t be thinking of such inappropriate things when the man wasn’t even trying to be suggestive. He was only sweeping his room, not giving him a show, even if the blond found his movements sensual and he was definitely seduced by them. He shouldn’t even be letting the noirette near a broom on his off day! But Erwin was a selfish piece of shit. He could not help it. In addition to having his room spruced, he got to see how Levi did it, and Levi was sexy as fuck cleaning things.

The blond shook his head. He can’t remember the last time he found a mundane activity sexy. How was he so turned on right now? He wasn’t even this horny with Marie: he loved her but he never pictured her between his legs, sucking him off, making cute little sounds while he tongued Levi’s-

Erwin gave himself a real slap this time, disguising it as an attempt to ward off nonexistent mosquitoes when Levi looked over at him. Was he seriously thinking of his new friend like that now? Bent over his desk, pants pooled around his ankles, taking his dick like the strong champ he is-

“Go on. Don’t mind me.” Levi swept the last of the debris he had gathered into a dustpan, discarding the contents into Erwin’s trash can. Erwin swallowed. Was Levi for real? Was he giving him his green light? The blond reached for his hips- “unless you’re not into pork, that is.”

Erwin grabbed the broom and dustpan instead, taking the items from Levi. Their fingers brushed. He turned around quickly to hide the tent of his trousers. Food, the more aroused of the two chastised himself. Levi was talking about _food_. How far gone was he to think the man was asking him to go ahead and fuck him?

“Pork is my favourite,” he maintained a steady voice, something he’s become good at over years of suppression. “Thank you.”

He wanted to say more- so much more- but he can’t. Not right now. His debt towards the noirette was becoming insurmountable: Levi had taken him to the hospital, stayed with him while he finished his drip, made sure he had food in his stomach before driving him back to Stohess, waited until he had showered before tucking him into bed and today, not only did he buy him lunch, he also cleaned his room, exciting him in the process. Erwin would have nicer things to think about at night. A thank you for your kindness and a sorry for being a burden were hardly going to suffice.

“Levi…”

Erwin appreciated it. All of it. Everything Levi was doing for him. But at the same time, he felt terribly guilty for letting the man clean up his mess, his vomit, his room- everything he didn’t do right since the first time they met. It felt so wrong, letting Levi take care of him, and it felt worse because he was not able to express the true extent of his remorse. He wanted to, but in spite of how steady his voice can be in such situations, words failed him. Instead, his eyes started burning. Erwin blinked a few times.

“Thank you…”

He turned only when the bulge in his pants behaved. Levi studied him.

“Want me to reheat it for you?”

“Sure. But before that, how much did you buy the food-”

“My treat.”

“ _Levi_ -”

“Repay me by eating it.”

Erwin watched dumbfounded as the noirette strolled to the bathroom to wash his hands. He came back a moment later with an electronic pot the blond had stowed on his shelf to reheat his ramen. He bit his lip and turned towards the window when Levi cast a worried glance at him.

“I didn’t mean to insult you with my sweeping,” the noirette began. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh,” Erwin muttered, taken aback. He wasn’t expecting Levi to address that. “You did not insult me at all. Don’t worry.”

“Really? You were just standing there with the broom and dustpan all tense like I got on your nerves or something. The doctor did say irritability is a symptom of a mild concussion but if you were irritated by me-”

“I wasn’t. It’s okay Levi. For real. I’m actually thankful you swept my room, and I’m sorry it made you uncomfy.”

So the noirette knew nothing of his moment of sudden arousal? Erwin sighed with relief.

“No. Not at all. Your room did not discomfort me. I’m sorry I made you think I was uncomfy with my sweeping. It’s a hobby of mine, cleaning. I saw an opportunity and took it. I wasn’t thinking about how it would make you feel.” Levi readied the electric pot, pouring the cooled broth into it. “I can’t help it sometimes. When I'm jittery I tend to clean, and I can get very carried away by it.” Levi took a deep breath. “My point is, you’re not all that disgusting.”

“That’s good to know.” Erwin beamed.

“You really aren’t! I’m just-” Levi struggled, “when I see a broom-” he sighed, “I can’t explain it without sounding ridiculous.”

Erwin nodded. “It’s okay. You don’t have. I think I get it.”

“You do?”

“I do.” Erwin patted the spot on his bed next to him while they waited for the broth to simmer. Levi sat himself down next to the blond. Their knees were only a jerk apart. “I don’t exactly clean to take my mind off things, but I do wander around a lot.” Erwin saw a visible loosening of Levi’s shoulders. He must be nervous too. “It’s how I ended up in the basement.”

“I see.”

“I’ll admit. I was a little flustered when you started sweeping my room, but only because I thought I was making you uncomfy.”

“You weren’t. I like cleaning. I’m sorry my cleaning got to you though.”

“It doesn’t. Not now that I know it helps calm you.”

“That’s a relief.” Levi licked his lips. They were pink and puffy, and they would look exquisite clamped around his-

“I’ll be right back,” Erwin said, feeling something stiffening between his legs again. “Need to wash my hands.”

He dashed to the bathroom and locked the door. What the hell was he doing? How was he getting a boner from merely looking at Levi’s lips? He was supposed to be staying away from the noirette. Why did he invite the man to sit on his bed? Why did he invite him into his room at all? Erwin ran the tap. Washing his hands, splashing a bit of water onto his face, he inhaled deeply and held his breath.

This wasn’t right. What the hell was Levi doing, paying him a visit _and_ buying him lunch? He must sneak a few dollars into the man’s wallet if he won’t accept money face to face. Levi has done so much for him already, so much more than necessary. Why was he helping him again today? Did the man pity him? Was that it? Erwin exhaled. He wouldn’t be too surprised if it’s out of pity that Levi was being kind to him; he _was_ pitiful. But surely Levi wasn’t the sort to buy lunch and dinner in addition to quietly tidying every stranger’s room he pitied! He would have heard of such a man by now if Levi was that kind of guy. People liked talking about other people, and yet, no one has ever mentioned the likes of him. Either Erwin has been so detached from reality he missed it or the noirette was simply doing these things for nobody else.

Was Erwin just unaware of gossip or was Levi giving him special treatment? What kind of man was Levi?

He peered at himself in the mirror, shivering at the realization that not only has he never heard anyone talking about Levi, he also knew nearly nothing about him. Only yesterday he learnt his surname from looking at his nametag- Ackerman- but that was about it. He was astounded Levi was not the talk of the town. Erwin may have been in his own world the past couple of weeks, but he was always in tune with gossip, and Levi did not look like a student who just enrolled here. If he was the sort to be as charitable as he was with Erwin, Erwin would have definitely heard of him even _before_ he started dating Marie. The fact of the matter was, he never caught wind of him, which left him with only one other logical conclusion: Levi was treating him different.

But why?

Erwin turned the tap off. He had not calmed down. If anything, his contemplating made his heart beat faster. This was a volatile situation. Levi was not in his work outfit and that made him look like an actual college kid- a college kid who, in less than 24 hours, made Erwin feel all manner of things: relief, sorrow, desire, guilt, and based on the way his body was responding to him from the mere watching of his lips, a lot of pent up sexual energy too. He saw him in a hoodie, but at that time, the blond had been most detached. Now they were in his room, far less stressed, feeling far more relaxed and focused. That could lead to all manner of dangerous things.

Levi was cute- Erwin thought so since the noirette carried him up the stairs once there was adequate light to study his features- but being cute wasn’t enough to get his dick springing. Marie was cute. Erwin wasn’t as hungry for her. No. There was certainly something more to Levi that Erwin found appealing, but what was it? Did he even want to know?

Erwin took another deep breath. He did. But was it a good idea? Wouldn’t knowing just make him want Levi even more? The blond ran the tap to splash more water onto his face. He turned it off and thought about Nile Dawk. That always worked to wind him down. He gave himself a minute more to calm down. Deciding he has been in the bathroom long enough, Erwin stepped out expecting to see Levi standing around or dusting his bookshelf- maybe he was not even in there anymore; it was quiet- but he was greeted by a sight more endearing:

Levi, lying on his bed, with his arms wrapped around his plushie.

He was sleeping.

The sheets have been changed and his favourite pastel blues were pulled over the mattress with neat hospital corners. The blond trod quietly, careful not to wake his snoozing friend. He approached the bed to study his resting form: Levi’s lashes appeared much longer from shadows cast at an awkward hour, too late to be afternoon, too early to be evening. He looked younger too, with his lips slightly parted and brows unfurrowed, hugging Erwin’s bunny in his casual clothes. The noirette must be exhausted to be napping at this time. Considering all that he has done for the blond, he had every reason to be. Erwin only hoped he could get the rest he needed while he ate the ramen Levi bought him.

Unfolding the quilt by his feet, Erwin lay it over the smaller man. A strange warmth spread across his chest. Levi looked nothing like the blunt janitor that hauled him up the basement stairs, curling into himself on Erwin’s bed like that. He looked rather like a darling prince the noble knight must protect.

 _Adorable_.

His cheeks looked soft and his hands, slender around his soft toy, bore the marks of a hardworking man. Erwin wanted to feel him, to reach out and feel them, but he thought better of it: he shouldn’t be touching Levi without his permission. Taking him in once again, and readjusting the plush bunny in his arms, the blond was surprised he even had it on him. The thing did not look nor smell the cleanest. Levi must be really _really_ tired to be able to ignore that.

Once he admired him enough, Erwin sat on his desk opposite the bed, thanking the noirette for his thoughtfulness. This would be the second time he ate a meal to repay Levi for his kindness. The ramen was steaming. Erwin grabbed a pair of wooden chopsticks and a spoon, pinching some noodles onto the utensil before adding a slice of pork and dipping it in the meaty soup. He liked the first bite to be a complete mouthful. Bringing the spoon to his lips, Erwin felt tears well in his eyes as he tasted it: the meat was melt-in-the-mouth tender and the broth, rich and creamy. He burped after three mere spoonfuls, a testament to how empty his stomach had been. Erwin continued eating, watching Levi through his reflection in the mirror.

A rustle of sheets caught his interest moments later; the noirette had turned onto his back, mumbling a little something in his sleep. He was so fucking cute! That’s when another thought occurred to Erwin: Levi was no longer there to help him- he was being helped _by_ him. Erwin had apparently disappeared long enough for his new friend to change his sheets _and_ take a nap on his newly-made bed. Levi could have just left for his own room after preparing his food and whatnot but he didn’t. He wasn’t even going to watch Erwin eat, so what was he still doing here?

If Erwin did not know any better, he would have assumed the noirette passed out there, but _no one_ who lost consciousness all of a sudden would look so organized. They certainly would not be holding his bunny like that. The sheets weren’t snagged or ruffled either, and nothing had been knocked over. No. Levi had _placed_ himself on his bed and he dozed off to sleep holding his plushie. He was fatigued, no doubt, but surely not fatigued enough to not make it to his own room…right?

Levi was not in his room from _needing_ to be there; he was there from _wanting_ to be in Erwin’s company.

Erwin smiled at the thought, letting the noirette sleep well into sunset. He might not be the best with words, but Levi certainly conveyed a lot through his actions, one of which being that he was not visiting Erwin from any sense of pity, but affection. He would not sleep in the man’s bed if he did anything today from feeling _sorry_ for him! Levi making himself at home was a testament of sorts to how much he trusted Erwin, or the noirette would be keeping a very watchful, certainly not closed, eye on him. Feeling trusted, the blond was glad he let Levi in.

He enjoyed his company too.

\- - - - -

Levi stirred to the smell of oregano. His heart skipped a beat at the feel of a blanket pulled all the way up to his torso. It had a very different texture from his own; it was soft and it smelled of sandalwood. Pushing himself onto his elbows, he noticed thick books by his feet and taller stacks on the floor. That was not where books belonged. They belonged on the shelf, but why was the shelf was on the wrong side? Wait a minute. This was not his room-

Levi stilled; it was Erwin’s.

A familiar voice drew his attention to the door. The blond was thanking someone, and then he was reaching out to take something, and then he was leaning against the door to shut it. He walked to his desk with half the number of strides it would have taken Levi to reach the man’s table with what appeared to be drinks and two boxes of pizza. A wave of fragrant herbs wafted up Levi’s nostrils. His stomach grumbled.

“Good morning!” Erwin greeted him. “Had a good nap?”

Levi sat up straighter, grimacing at the pop of his joints. How long was he out? Everything was stiff. He must have slept very soundly if everything was stiff. He woke more pliant tossing and turning. Levi cracked his neck and back and was about to do his fingers-

But what was this? What was he holding? A plushie? No. Not just a plushie. _Erwin’s_ plushie. It was tattered as fuck. Levi resisted the urge to scrunch his nose. It was probably dear to Erwin. He placed the soft toy politely beside his pillow.

Levi peered out the window. It was dark.

“Holy shit! What time is it?” He panicked, reaching for his phone. Did he really sleep all the way till morning?

“It’s just a little after seven, still Saturday.” Erwin glanced out onto the street. “I bought us dinner.”

“You said good morning. I thought it was a joke till I looked outside. It’s dark so I thought I slept till dawn.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that. I say good morning to anyone who’s just woken up regardless of the time of day.” Erwin ran his fingers through his own hair. “I finished the ramen you bought me. It was really good.”

Levi nodded, still a bit groggy. “Sorry I crashed here. I was just lying down and then I kind of dozed off.”

“It’s cool. You looked like you could use a good nap. After everything you’ve done for me the least I could do was let you.” Erwin set the pizza boxes on his desk. “I mean, unless you had somewhere to be and I was supposed to wake you, that is.”

“I didn’t,” Levi yawned. “Thank you for not waking me.”

“That’s a relief! You looked so peaceful. I would have felt bad if I had to disturb you.”

“Is that so?” Levi studied him. Erwin turned an obvious red. “About dinner…”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not getting away with this.”

“Huh?”

“The ramen I got you was courtesy of my uncle. I had to tell him how his wheelchair ended up in the car. He was touched or something, so he bought ramen for you and me both. The only thing I ever got you was a small serving of fish and chips. This pizza’s kind of fancy but I will-”

“Repay me by eating them.” Erwin finished. “With me,” he added, “while watching a movie.”

Levi wheezed, utterly nervous. “I don’t know, Smith. That sounds like some kind of date.”

Erwin shrugged, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know, Ackerman. Maybe it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!


End file.
